We all know that leading a positive life will gain us the health and wealth that we desire and are entitled to by sheer birthright, but how do we start? With being “brain pounded” by the media with all that is negative, dark, and scary, what are some of the very first steps that we can take to change our own lives for the better? The only thing that it takes is intention and committment. That’s is it. Eventually what happens is you don’t even see the negative anymore. You rock your own path of light, love, and postivity and the next thing you know you’re a univeral magnant for all things great. You’re happier, people want to be around you more, and you attract love, peace, and prosperity. It’s almost too easy to do but most people either don’t believe that, or they can’t get out of their own way enought to make it past the intention and committment part. You can do it. Start by doing it for the next hour. Just try. For one hour. Then try for 3 hours, then one day, then one week and on and on.
The Tip Top Steps In Starting to Live YOUR Positive Life
First and foremost;
Know and love yourself first– Until you can do both for yourself, you will never be able to do either for anyone else. Not knowing yourself, your likes, dislikes, desires, pleasures, and what is important to you can create chaos in your personal relationships. What will more than likely happen is you will look for happiness in another person and doing so will always lead to disappointment. A human being is just that, human. They possess no mind reader abilities and they are sure to let you down. Knowing where you stand on your own personal happiness leads to you being your own best company first. Then and only then are you able to truly be another half to someone else.
Know that it’s ok to let people go from your life – Sometimes our journey can take us a completely different path from people. Sometimes it will bring us back to them again, sometimes not. What is meant to be will always be and there is nothing you can do to stop that or make it happen. Sometimes we have to let blood relatives go for awhile, or a friendship that has turned non-supportive, mutually beneficial, or downright toxic. Just because you’ve been friends with someone since high schoold does not mean you’ll be in rocking chairs next to one another when you are 80. That is a fantastic thing to strive for, but you must relinquish expectations.
Once you start down this path of positive living, it may be jarring to find that some people don’t appreciate what it is that you are doing for yourself. Some may even try to sabatoge it because they are that insecure, and/or misery truely loves company. Out of the 5 people I terminated from my life because their toxcity was hurting me personally, I only missed one person. In fact, the time away showed me that they weren’t the problem, I was. The other 4 proved to have added no value to my life whatsoever since the time away from them actually made me feel better than I did when I was among them. This doesn’t mean that I’m bad or they’re bad, it means that our lives are no longer compatible. It is ok to reach the end of a journey with someone. Wish them well and set them free.
Practice Forgiveness – Thinking forgiveness is not possible, we are admitting that by extending forgiveness we are extending grace to the other person, or we are accepting or condoning what it is they have done. However, extending forgiveness to another is really for our own benefit. Have you ever heard the expression that “resentment is like drinking poison hoping that the other person dies”? I may have never heard a more accurate statement. The great thing about forgiveness is that you don’t even have to involve the other person. You can forgive from afar. Visualize who has hurt you surrounded by a nice white light and wish them well. Do this over and over again until you no longer have any ill feelings or thoughts. Lifting this burden off of your shoulders is the best gift you can give to yourself in order to lead the life that you were ment to. Dragging past hurts around with you will weigh you down, and can adversely effect your physical health.
Create teachable moments– The other half of forgiveness is the attempt to not allow it to get that far. In life, how we treat ourselves is one way we teach others on how to treat us. If you are offended by someone who’s opinion you value, it may be wise to have the discussion that you are in fact offended. More often than not, a more detailed conversation on what ails you and possibly setting some boundaries if necessary, is much easier than the time you’re going to spend talking about it with others and laminating over it to the point of obsession.
Say what you want, not what you don’t want – A little bit of “The Secret” and putting it out into the Universe, and a little bit self-fulfilling prophecy. Saying what you desire over what you do not want to happen works for many reasons. Everything is energy from that tree, to you, to that rock over there, it’s just that all three omit different levels of energy. Albert Einstein said:
“Everything is energy…match the frequency to the reality that you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy, this is physics.” In short, what you think about you bring about.
Re-think & get rid of “stuff”- Physical stuff and emotional stuff that is. Purging your physical space to what you truly love and need only is so liberating! You will never go back once you see how opening up space physically leads to you doing so mentally. The benefits range from having more free time from not having to take care of your belongings, all the way to being able to step out of the consumer trap by not having the desire to spend money “keeping up with The Joneses”.
Be creative – Find time everyday to dig into your passions and hobbies or designate this time to find some. Remember crafting things as kids? How good would it feel to build a bird house out of popsicle sticks right now? Go buy some old school paste or rubber cement and find something to craft. Sometimes I sit and cut out images out of magazines that thrill me. It can be a photograph of a beautiful blouse, or it a picture of a sunset. I never think about why I like the image, I just cut it out. I then either paste it onto a big board and hang it in my office like a vision board, or I create a smaller one and paste them in one of my journals. There is something about sissors and paste that get my creative juices going and the next thing I know, I’m creating something.
Take time to play – When I lived alone and began my journey into finding myself, this was one of the first things that helped me. Wether it was playing hide and seek at midnight with my dog, or if it was a game of Uno with friends on the deck, playing is necessary.
Unplug – Years ago I actually learned how to live without my phone by hiding it from myself and only checking it once an hour. It began to take great joy in being able to go great spands of time without being reachable and instead would find myself burried in a book or engrossed in a good movie. To this day I’ll put my phone down somewhere and won’t check it for hours. The world has never stopped turning because of it, I’ve never missed anything important, and no one died – least of all me. Same goes for the television. Cutting out one hour a day of TV can and will lead to more and more hours available for you to do what you wish. The DVR became my best friend. Now if there is a show I want to see, I set it and forget it, then watch it when it suites me. Bonus being that I get to skip all of the commercials that purposely and scientifically implant subliminal neuron marketing techniques, whereby completely avoiding any temptation to purchase, purchase, and purchase needless stuff. Update: For the past 2 years, we have been cable/satellite free! Netflix, and Hulu sustain us, but there is an abundance of time to do with what we please, and an “extra” $150 a month that gets spent in a healthy way. We will never go back!
Get into Nature – This is a non-negotiable. I live in the city but I’m from the country. When I stopped to think about it, living in an urban environment really has effected me in many ways. Now I make it a point to get into nature everyday, even if it’s only a 15 minute walk to work. I then also make it a point to at least once a month get into nature for a longer stretch, such as a hike. Nature has it’s own rythem and patterns, from the sun rising and setting to the flowers opening their buds. Getting into nature helps re-set our own rythum and patterns before they were meddled with ringing phones, beeping IM alters, and Facebook notifications. For a few hours you go back to living naturally, from you heart by following your own inner guidance.
Practice love – Sometimes we want to grab a person and shake them until the common sense returns to their brain. However, you have to understand that this reaction has more to do with you than them. You do not have to defend yourself against every comment, opinion, or rogue thought someone has about you or your life. In fact, it takes an even stronger person to just let it go than it does to attempt to change their opinion. Everyone has an opinion and there is very little that can be done to change people’s perceptions anyway. Instead practice love by sending whomever sparks your nerves some love. Smile at everyone. Hug everyone in your family. Wish a stranger a good day. We are all connected and love shouldn’t be reserved for romance, those you are related to, your friends or your pet. Love is for everyone and everything. The best thing about love is that you can never run out. The more you give, the more you get, the more you’re able to give again.
Be Thankful – What would happen if you woke up with only what you were thankful for yesterday? Marinate on that for a moment and let it sink in. Positive happy people say thank you everday and for everything. The more you do this, the more you will find you have to be thankful for. You woke up today, be thankful as someone won’t. You ate breakfast, be thankful as some don’t have that option. You walked downstairs, be thankful as some can’t. Thank the store clerk for doing her job. Thank your children for completing a chore. Being thankful and greatful are one in the same. It puts the good vibe out that you’re happy with what you have and you’ll then receive more.
Eat the rainbow – Replacing as much processed food with natural food as you can will change your life. We all know why. We all know that we should. If you arn’t, ask yourself why not and really examine that answer. It is just too easy of a step in the right direction not to take.
Move – Exercise, just like diet is fundamental. We are all “busy” but cutting out one hour of TV and making the time will eventually have you reprioritizing and adding this NEED into your day. Just start with 5 minutes if nothing else.
Have sex – Deep connected and meaningful sex that is. God made the body, God made sex, so there should be no shame. Sex is in fact one of the elements that our bodies need in order to thrive. It’s right there with food, water, and shelter. Not having sex with your partner is one way to lead to physical and emotional ailment.
And the number #1 step in living a positive life;
Learn how to re-frame everything – Learning how to take any negative thought and turn it into a positive is a skill. In fact, it is an art. It is a tad difficult to do at first unless you are among the lucky few that have been taught early on how to do it, or grew up with role models that thought along these lines. For instance: You are no longer in love with your job – but you have one in today’s shaky economy, and you will use this time to contimplate new fields of employment, or to acquire new skills to keep sharp until you seek an opportunity that fits you. It’s a rainy and dreary day – the lawn and your garden are getting watered for free. I’ve learned to turn it into a game with myself, the more difficult the situation, the bigger the challenge to find the silverlining, and I love a challenge! A falling out with a friend presents an opportunity to go “within” and figure out if there is any truth to what she said that I can examine. Re-framing your thoughts has an immediate positive physical reaction in your brain. It releases oxytocin and that’s the feel good hormone related to sex and exercise.