What were my lessons this month? Sometimes I can’t tell until I take a step back, remove emotion, and examine it all. Striving for emotional intelligence means learning to separate yourself, and thinking critically about what you have experienced. For me, the biggest lesson in these four weeks was when I came to finally surrender to the fact that when the game changes so do the players. No major life change is without some people in your life leaving because all inner world change is progressively accompanied by outer world change. The people that leave your life are meant to leave your life. Some will do the leaving, others you may have to make the decision to let go of. People will always show you who they really are eventually, even more so during times of adversity. If you are searching for a life of peace and prosperity, it is important to bear in mind that we will inevitably become like the 5 people that we spend the most time with. Seek to surround yourself with those that love. Individuals that can look at challenges and actively participate in the creative solutions that benefit the greater good. For the health of your life, set “emotional vampires” free with love and good wishes. I release these people for my own good first, but I really do it for my entire family. Whomever is in my life, and is therefore in my family’s life, I ensure are all nurturing and supportive people. Sometimes it is a struggle to let someone go, but if they do not respect my family, then they deep down do not respect me either. Bearing this fact and the greater good of my entire family in mind, I release with love.
When it comes to friendships that nurture and support us, what of those friendships from our pasts once we enter into a union? What if the “friend” is of the opposite sex and there has been past intimacy? Be it known that there is only room for two in any bedroom, and setting a foundation for a healthy family unit means taking the power away from relationship intruders. Alas, there are those that do not understand this because subconsciously they seek to destroy lovely things out of insecurity and fear of change. These people are a part of life, and are character building for a couple’s relationship. In order to distinquish friend from foe, bear in mind that particular relationship’s proven track record. If they are a true friend then they are of integrity, compassion, and they are genuinely happy for you. They can be un-biased or atleast do not perpetuate drama. If they are foe, they instill doubt, fear, and seek to take your attention away from what is most important to you. They search for weakness and attempt to separate the union. One must rely on natural instinct in these instances since not all is what it can seem to be. With great moral courage call it out and question any of it if intuition guides you to.
In keeping with the theme of “show me your friends and I will show you who you are”, I have found that there should be contemplation as to whom you ask to be spiritual mentors to your child. Spiritual parents that reinforce the values that you aim to instill under the name of God is a special privilege and life long endeavor. If you are not sure about who to ask, stand back for a while. The wrong choices will naturally separate themselves from the right choice. Time reveals all. While you are standing back and looking around you and at your life, it will dawn on you that you that right then, you are living in the moment. You will come to find that time slows with you when you slow down. When you are living in the moment, there is no room for unnecessary things that don’t amount to a hill of beans in this life. You get the gift of seeing how all of life’s moments should be lived. It feels so very cool that the anxiety of tomorrow is gone, and the guilt of yesterday has vanished. Prior to the birth of Dylan, I had only experienced this once or twice. Always on the back of my horse. But something changed for me in the delivery room August 7, 2012. Giving birth was when I finally learned about fully living in the moment. I had no choice but to concentrate on each and every moment because I had no idea what was coming next, and I surrendered to having no control. Wether it was the pain of a contraction, the agony of pushing, or the euphoria of him being placed on my chest…I sat with every single feeling because I had no choice but to feel it. That is living in the moment my friends. Not attempting to escape anything. Not running from a feeling because it may hurt. Not worrying about what has happened or what is coming next. After you finally feel how that freedom feels, you realize there is nothing in life to be scared of. Nothing. Everything is Divinely perfect. Let children and animals teach you about living in the moment – because that’s all they do. They have no worries about tomorrow and they already forgot about yesterday. Instead of constantly using the expression “God, life goes so fast”, actually grasp that concept. Children do grow fast, we do get older quicker than we imagine and still a dish has never gotten up and walked away from the sink. You owe it to yourself to color one more page with your child, go play golf with your buddies, take the afternoon off, or have another cup of coffee with your mom.
My life’s theme this month was mostly about the people in and around my life and their change surrounding my changes. It was also a lot about my own personal change, as well as the evolution of Michael and I’s partnership. At times the change was rapid and the life lessons dramatic. There were natural endings to longtime relationships and by living in the moment I was able to see why it was happening and why it was necessary that it was happening. There was the official “death” of the old me. My old life. My old and limiting ideology. There was the official “death” of Michael and I’s old life together and our old way of thinking. Oddly enough, even with all of this “loss”, I finally feel like I can breathe again. Beauty in my life re-emerged after being suffocated and ignored by all that was unnecessary and not sustainable. Like when a house built upon sand instead of rock finally crumbles, so too did my false friendships, and habits that no longer have a place in my new way of thought. When everything that is erroneous or emotionally toxic is stripped away, what is left is nothing but what actually matters in life. Like my true, passionate, romantic, and forever partnership. Nurturing and raising a healthy and loving member of society. The adoring parents that have and continue to stand by us during our mistakes and our celebrations alike. My dear and golden friendships that have never and will never leave me. When groups of people left my life before, I just chalked it up to the major life changes I was going through at the time. I was too relieved to be rid of the drama and exhaustion that I didn’t really get it. Now I see it for the most magnificent gift that I have been given, which is being restored to what truly matters in life. When you get your life naked, stipped to what you come to this earth with; God, love, and family, you get time on your side. No longer consumed with things or people that displace your energy, you get the time needed to find out who you really are. You also become grateful for what you have left, because what is left is real and important. I fully comprehend that my lesson today is to nurture who and what I have with love and gratitude. I quickly think back to all of the challenges thus far in my life and I astonish myself. Divorce could not bring me down. Slandar could not bring me down. Near bankruptcy could not bring me down. People who lied to me, hated me, and tried to take what I have worked to build as their own, could not bring me down. Judgement…could not bring me down. Even in these 4 short weeks a weaker version of myself could have had her knees buckled over 100 times. But I am not weak. I am extremely mentally and physically strong and I am grateful for my challenges as they make me this way and I take personal responsibility for life I wish to live. I am who I am because I love God, and he helps me to turn my challenges into concrete steps. I then climb upon them like stepping stones with great, but blind faith because I know it is all leading me somewhere wonderful that is beyond my wildest dreams. There was a time in my life where I was not this way…I would chose instead to run away. Cower. Play victim. Then I found out that we all have within us what we need at all times. You just have to be willing to go digging within. I would not be living my Divine life’s purpose if I did not tell you the following: Change is a constant in life. It is unavoidable. Learn how to live in the moment. Nurture true relationships, and always be grateful for the good and difficult because they both teach.