What Living a Positive Life Isn’t…


The six misconceptions about positive people living a positive life, and why they look a little looney.

I will be the first to admit that there are many misconceptions about living a positive life. When I was worn down and just angry about the life that I had allowed for myself, I used to think that positive people were naive and must have had an easy life from day number one.   While that sometimes that can be true,  I have come to realize from personal experience, that most positive people became positive by having gone through many trials by fire.

The first misconception about positive people is that they are always happy. WRONG. No one is always happy. Positive people may be happy at their core, but they process the same amount and the same kind of emotions as everyone does. The way that they are different is that they have turned looking for the “silver lining” into an art form. Wether or not it is hard core life hardships, or just a series of misfortunes, positive people understand that 1) everything happens for a reason and 2) if it’s happening, it’s meant to be learned from.

The second misconception about positive people is that they are always positive. WRONG again. We are here to learn. Life is one very big classroom and just as a positive person comes to learn how to change their perception and integrate their changes into everyday life, a new challenge arises. Often the challenges become more difficult. It’s just God’s way of strengthening and polishing his children, to see if we will practice what it is that we have come to learn. There is a saying that most positive people have come to accept as their personal truth which states “In life, you get the test before the lesson, whereas in school you got the lesson before the test.” Positive people know that if they don’t look within to figure out what they are meant to learn from their current challenges, the lesson will keep repeating until they do learn it.

The third misconception about positive people is that they are always nice.  NOPE.  Positive people are kind, they extend grace, they can be generous, but not all the time.  Who can do that all the time? Even Jesus had a temper.  Positive people see deeply.  They have learned what being taken advantage of looks like, what being gossiped about and judged feels like, and they have emotions to process over it.  While they will seek to forgive as quick as they can, they do not have to accept abuse.  No one does.  Choosing to live a positive life in no way turns you into a doormat.  In fact, it the opposite.  Positive people are assertive and have learned to establish, if need be, strong boundaries to protect themselves.  Some people can interpret a positive person telling them “no” as mean or them not being a positive person.  When in actuality, positive people have come to know about themselves and understand that people pleasing will get them no where and far away from their goals.  So, as a measure of self care, positive people will not engage in activities, consume things, or be around people that are not in alignment with their personal beliefs and agendas.  I lost a lot of friends when I quit drinking and partying.  Excessive social gatherings were becoming a way for me to avoid introspection and it was getting me no where fast.  So when I would say “no thank you”, to them I looked “uppity”, “changed”, “better than”.   The more you know where you stand on things, the easier it becomes to make decisions. Living a positive life meant for me learning how to not have to justify myself to everyone all the time.  Positive people know what works for them and stand by it no matter what.   Along with this deep understanding, comes the wanton need to stand up for it, either literally or figuratively.  For me, it’s literally.  I was born with a mouth and I lend my voice to those that cannot or chose not to speak up for themselves.  Therefore, when it comes to things like equality, you may see me get hype.  To some, this looks confrontational.  To me, this is living my truth which is part of living my positive life.

The fourth misconception about positive people is that they like everyone.  HOLY HELL…NO!  Positive people RESPECT everyone and don’t judge whether or not they deserve it, but more than likely – at least in the beginning – positive people just stay away from people that rub them the wrong way.   Positive people will never gossip, nor will they allow others to in their presence.  They will never wish ill will.  They will never be malicious or knowingly do harm, but they may not engage past general pleasantries, which to others may make them look…well…”uppity”, “changed”, “better than”.  Rather that then any needless drama for positive people are more concerned with what they think of themselves than what others think of them.

The fifth misconception about positive people living a positive life is that it’s easy.  NOOOOOOO.  Let me be the first to tell you from deep personal experience…positive living is hard.  It is WORK.  Mental work, spiritual work, physical work.  You have to challenge everything you have ever come to know and figure out if you actually believe it, or if you only believe it because you have been told to.  It means making changes that may be difficult to do.  It requires endurance because you will want to give up. By the 1,000th time you are slapped in the face by someone that you are trying to embrace because they themselves don’t know love, or by fully seeing with wide open eyes the corruption, the greed, and the darkness that reside in some people’s souls, or when you are at your happiest and someone seeks to sabotage it out of jealousy and lack of joy in their own life…you will want to give up. You will actually yearn for your old naive life – but once you walk this path towards enlightenment, you can’t go back. You cannot unlearn what you have learned, nor can you un-see or un-feel all that you have.

Positive people have come to learn the one golden rule of life, which is everything starts with them. Our lives are a physical manifestation of all that we have thought, done, not done, said, and not said. WE create our reality. That realization right there will knock you on your ass if you love to play the “victim” card, or if you are a “blamer” like I was, for the single reason that there is no one to blame (or praise) but oneself. This is not to say that there are not people that help you get to where you are, with both “good” and “bad” help, but if a person is unhappy in life, the ability to change is ultimately up to them.  And that shit takes work. Alternatively, if a person is happy with what they have created, it is only they that can chose to sustain and nurture it, or not, and that shit takes work. Remember, nothing worth it is easy…nothing.

The sixth misconception is that it is a uniform way of life. Positively NOT. My positive life looks nothing like her positive life, which looks nothing like his positive life. The only thing that all positive living has in common is DO NO HARM. Do no harm to yourself, to others, to the earth. Do no harm is the absolute bear bones of positive living. Next is LOVE. Love yourself, love others, love the earth. After that it is HELP. Help yourself, help others, help the earth. But like Buddah said, if you can’t help, (or love) then at least do no harm.

I have wanted to turn back, no run back, more times than I can count. There are people that I just don’t want to deal with let alone love, there are injustices that overwhelm me to the point of depression, and sometimes, I just don’t want to “go within” to work on myself so hard. Especially when I see people that need to more than I and blatantly chose not to. Sometimes I want to grab people by the shoulders and shake them until they see that all of their chatter is just destructive vibrational energy that is not only harming themselves, but everyone else too. I see people that are so blind to how they hurt and imped upon others, yet they blame everyone else for any and everything, and it gets me livid to the point of destruction.  And after all of my humbling life lessons, there is still a small egoic part of me that smiles a bit when I see the Law of Karma catch up to someone who is so meanspirited. Yet, I still consider myself a positive person. Sometimes you will sit next to me and feel the negative bitchy vibes just radiate off of me.  That’s actually a part of the old me burning off like oil on an engine.  Not unlike how a snake sheds skin, it’s me shedding a limiting belief, but my ego is pissed about the change. Simply because it means that what I thought I knew, I really didn’t know and ego doesn’t like to be wrong, nor challenged. Other times, I am a ray of sunshine shining so brightly that it makes people uncomfortable.

Alternatively, living a positive life has brought me more gifts than I can count in my lifetime. The first being that I have the power to change everything at any moment. That is empowering. I can wake up in a bad mood, and I know enough about myself to change it.  Same with being sad, or mad.  Living a positive life has opened my eyes to the absolute bounty of beauty that is in front of me every second of every day no matter what is going on in the world.  A heavy heart for me is easier to learn from while leaning up against a magnificent tree breathing in the fresh air.  While leaning against that tree breathing in the air, I can look at God’s magnificent kingdom and realize that my “problem” really is trite in comparison. And even if it isn’t, I understand that I have been given intelligence, I have developed discernment, and have proven to myself over and over that I have the agility to overcome whatever it is that I am facing.  Living a positive life has given me the ability to develop faith.  I have a belief in myself and in God that all will always be well in the end.  I have learned deep self love, self respect, and self care.  I know that I need all this in order to be the absolute best version of myself in this lifetime, for not just me, but for my partner Michael and our son.  Had I not learned to love myself, I know that I never would have attracted Michael in the first place, nor would the rest of my dreams come to fruition.  Living a positive life taught me proved to me, the law of attraction.  We attract what we are.

Learning to live a positive life gave me first and foremost, empowerment.  Then came gratitude, then came self-love, then came creativity, and all the while, my dreams began to come true one by one.  Some of the dreams I didn’t even know I had! The best part is not all has been revealed to me yet.  I come to learn more every single day.  I think of every morning as a package with glorious gifts hidden inside for me to discover throughout the day.  Sometimes they are obvious, like the sun shining, my gorgeous horse standing in the field, my son’s smile, Michael’s kiss.  Others take more work to figure out…like a puzzle.  The faith in knowing that I already have all the pieces and just have to keep the commitment to put it together one piece at a time is what makes me not actually give up on this life path.  ALL of this is what living a positive life is. It is the epitome of the ying and the yang.  Free will states that we can take it or leave it, but a positive person knows that everything that they do has consequences and that consequences themselves are actually neutral. Most of us have been taught to fear consequences, but positive people know that consequences are actually just results from a series of their thoughts and actions.  If you want good, you have to do good.  All the time.  Even when no one is looking, and even if you don’t feel like it.  I know that if I don’t work on me, then no one will. I also know that if I don’t “go within” and discover who I am or what I can do to be better, I run the risk of never coming to share my special gifts with humanity. Gifts that we all have that are our responsibility to find and share. I also run the risk of being unhealthy mentally and spiritually and that will have a direct effect on humanity as well.  Either as a burden, or by perpetually putting negativity into the atmosphere. So you see, living a positive life is unique and open for interpretation, and make no mistake about it, it will be whatever YOU make it.

blogger, conscious evolutionist, mom, equestrian, & vintage china hoarder. Did you subscribe to LYPL yet?
blogger, conscious evolutionist, mom, equestrian, & vintage china hoarder. Did you subscribe to LYPL yet?

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