Gold is too soft. Why we chose Titanium wedding rings

Love. It makes us, breaks us, and hammers us into who we eventually become. Our mistakes are not unlike sandpaper, polishing us and rounding our edges…if we allow it. Every misfortune of the heart bears a story with a moral for us to learn from. Even more than that, inside each lesson lies another lesson about ourselves. It is both magnificent, and ridiculous all at the same time. To truly allow these love lessons to mold you into who you are meant to be, you must at some point bare your soul. Strip it naked for all the world to see, and then slowly build from there. The greatest thing to be had from all of this, is you get to see which friends and family never leave your side…no matter how manic you get during the great process of “shedding”. For why should anyone get to stand next to a diamond without having bore witness to your transformation process? In that token, what happens when the greatest, most scary, and most painful transformation of your life happens just as you meet your one true love? Well, from personal experience, if they stay and hold your hand through it all, make sure they get to stand next to a diamond for the rest of their lives.

But sometimes a diamond isn’t the best representation of strength and endurance. Henceforth Titanium, or atomic number 22. Titanium has the highest strength-to-density ratio of any element on the planet. Strength, that Michael and I have had to dig deep to find during some of our toughest times. Times, might I add that were mostly brought about by outside interference, or what I refer to as static. Interference that I couldn’t just get over, and so I allowed it to bring me completely down. Like some sort of trigger for an addict, I spiraled downwards into the darkest depression I have ever known. He allowed me the time and the space to help myself, like a true partner does. He didn’t do it for me, and his words of encouragement were half soothing, and half ass-kicking…which if you know me is exactly what I need. No enabling. No allowance of “victim-mentality”. I was forced to do the work. What should have broken us, didn’t, we came back stronger.

Problems, poor attitudes, money management, time management, business, careers, parenting, in-laws, false friends, sex, communication, relationship intruders…all static. All corrosive to a relationship when left unchecked, and all part of any relationship under the sun. No couple gets out untested. The lessons that you learn when you stand shoulder to shoulder, are just as valuable as when you do not. I cannot pretend to even insinuate that we have it all to together all the time. But there is never a day that we hate one another. We can tell each other honestly that the other is unnerving at the moment, but after all of that is over, we “go back in”. Over a beer, or while driving to our destination, we will flip up that rug, and clean up the pile of dirt. We tell one another that we were hurt, mad, anxious, pissed, confused, what have you. As a personal rule, we don’t “Band-Aid”, because Band-Aids fall off. The longer you leave a mess unattended, it starts to stink. We don’t like messes, Band-Aids, or corrosion. Thank God that Titanium is corrosion resistant.

Yes, there has been a lot of mystique surrounding our relationship. Especially as to whether or not it begun under false pretenses. Some people absolutely adore us, and yet others despise us being together. However, we know that what we have is very real, as it was when it began on the day we met. Maybe sometimes it was too real. Honestly, there were times in the beginning where we didn’t even know what to do with what we had between us. It was different, powerful, awesome, but not always fun. Not to diminish what it is that we had with others before, for our relationship would never be what it has evolved to without each of our pasts, but we are literally one half of the other while remaining a whole version of our self. Because that is the key, you must remain a whole version of yourself. Just like the symbol of the ying and the yang. They meld together, yet they remain.

I believe that there are many couples out there that know what this is like. More than likely those that have been patient enough with the Divine process to refuse to settle for anything less than true love, while in the meantime sitting alone for months, or even years, so to have real meta-cognition, not to mention the practice of being independent so to truly become interdependent, because deep down they have the resounding belief that God will only send the person He had picked for them, when and only when, they were capable of being a true partner. So then they hang on to that faith with every fiber of their being, even during the emergence of what would appear to be “the one” who was actually a wolf in sheep’s clothing meant to test their resilience for not settling. These people, who have undoubtedly sweated their way through some deep self-examination, whereby challenging every single belief and thought that they have only to take heat from those that cling to their limiting beliefs with their cold and narrow minds, but then chose to step into their higher and more authentic self regardless of what others think about them…these people will know what we mean. How can soft gold represent any of that?

 

blogger, conscious evolutionist, mom, equestrian, & vintage china hoarder. Did you subscribe to LYPL yet?
blogger, conscious evolutionist, mom, equestrian, & vintage china hoarder. Did you subscribe to LYPL yet?

 

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2 thoughts on “Gold is too soft. Why we chose Titanium wedding rings

  1. Jen, I am in awe of your writing. Your words, though truthful and….oh so real, hit home like a ton of bricks. I know it took me a while to find the love that I have found. I used to believe that I was losing that love, the partner that I married almost 15 years ago…but, I have come to know “a new love; a new husband and partner”. Through this damn disease, I have learned who Phil was before I met him. We have sat together and looked a numerous photos, photos from his years before us. Although I miss the man I “initially fell in love with”, I am NOW in love with the husband I have beside me. The hardest part through all of this is watching him; each day forgetting how to do the smallest things. Things we take for granted. Sadly, he hasn’t remembered me, remembered us for almost a year now. That I am sad about. I have found that my outside relationships have changed, friends and family. It is a difficult situation and if you are not living this with us, then it is harder to watch. People say words; people leave messages; people post “words” on my FB wall but…. they all seem hollow. Thank you, Jen! Again, I have enjoyed reading Live Your Positive Life!

  2. Lourie,

    You and Phil are a prime example of which I write about…for you both can only know what you have. The outside world will only ever interpret what they see by what is already inside of them. If they are of love, they will see the tender love you have for your husband, both before, and the newly found now. Be it known that from an outside observer, I can see the bonds of Titanium. I can also see your struggle, but know that I see your grace.

    We agree before God to experience certain challenges before we come to this earth. Of course our ability to choose free will makes it extra fun…but in the end, it is about perfecting our soul. I believe that if you do everything with love, that is pleasing before God. Please know that you have my unwavering support, prayers, and positive thoughts. I hold both you and Phil in a loving white light. I humbly thank you for reading my words.

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