I in no way mean to imply that it is a good thing to go around and intentionally make people angry. What I am speaking of here is more in terms of making people angry just by telling the truth. Here’s why: If your telling the truth were not challenging something deep inside of these people, why would they be angry?
Check it, if someone were to walk up to me and say “Jenna, you’re a slut.” I would giggle. First of all, I prefer the term “sexually empowered”, but it wouldn’t bother me because I know that I am not a slut, nor was I ever. Alternatively, sometime ago someone walked up to me and said; “you’re not as self secure as you pretend to be”…that stung. I became angry at the time because that person stumbled upon a nerve that was laying raw. They hit on something that I had not quite examined, something that I had been putting off improving on. The anger then allowed the unexamined to rise to the surface where I had no choice but to confront it, or risk blaming that person forever for my anger. Fast forward to now, I have the understanding that when something challenges my emotions, I need to take out my magnifying glass and give it a good look over. I always ask myself: Why am I so angry? Is there any truth to this? If yes; What can I do to learn from, grow from, and then completely dispel this uncomfortable feeling? Is this a fun exercise? If you’re a spiritual-self-improvement junkie like I am it can be delightful. Easy to do? Never. Do you feel better in the end? Always.
Whenever someone inadvertently or deliberately challenges your insides, that’s one thing. What of them inadvertently or deliberately challenging your beliefs? Sometime ago, I learned what that looks like up close. I have this uncle who is in his late 80’s. A fine gentlemen, but a product of his era. We had gotten into an online scuffle, as often happens when it comes to my “tree hugging woo woo agenda”. I had alluded to the fact that his statement was a an unacceptable remark, because it was. What I did was point out his own words and how they were being interpreted by someone who is thinking in terms of 2014. A melt down occurred. This included emails to my parents, another uncle jumping in to the now altercation in a deliberate attempt to publicly gang up on me, and my father asking me to consider apologizing. What was interpreted by some as a “young snot nose kid not respecting her elders”, (I’m 35 years old), was me just pointing out a limiting belief like I would do for anyone that had said what he said. However, his anger stemmed from the fact that had actually accepted reality as it stands, he would no longer be able to really believe what it is that he said that he believed. I had embarrassed him. Deep down, he is intelligent enough to know that his belief is unacceptable and no longer has a place in an evolved society. What I believe is also at the root of his anger, the fact that he no longer has control. The belief system of his era, though he holds onto it with a death clutch, is practically long gone.
For some, abandoning a thought pattern or a belief that they have held closely as truth for their entire life is scary. It’s the “this is how my father did it because its how his father did it” mentality. We are entering into different time where many of the rules need to be completely rewritten. It isn’t a time of anarchy, it’s a time of Utopia. It’s quite the liberating time, but sometimes we can’t tell the difference between anxiety and excitement. The anxiety/excitement, I believe, stems from creating the space for a new and more altruistic thought to take the place of the old limiting, tired, and often degrading to self thought that was just cast out of our being. For after this happens so many times, we then change completely. Next thing you know, we can barely remember who we once were, and if we are not that, then who are we?
Humans are typically afraid of the unknown because we are conditioned to be. If we were all taught in grade school that the unknown is wondrous and limitless, and that we have absolute freedom to create our lives how we chose so long as we respect ourselves and others, maybe we wouldn’t fear the unknown and instead embrace it. But this fear of the unknown ends up bleeding into us fearing other humans for they are unknown too. We then create separation to keep us “safe” from the unknown.
We, as human beings inside of a society literally create our own differences, without which there would be none. You – Muslim. Me – Christian. You – black, Me – white. You – Republican, Me – Progressive. You – creative, Me- analytical. You – poor, Me – rich. People are just people. We all have different stories, backgrounds and purposes for being alive, yet we are way more alike than different. When something happens that taps our “this isn’t really how it’s supposed to be” nerve, like when someone challenging our limiting beliefs, we tend to get angry. Why? Because when it comes to believing in something that separates human beings, or believing in anything that leaves some human beings inferior to others, your subconscious can’t handle it and attempts to put it’s foot down. Subconscious, Soul, God, Source, whatever name you have for it, it knows the real truth, and when your limiting mind butts up against your all knowing epicenter anger can appear. Though the anger is easier to shove onto the messenger – it is really anger at oneself. Don’t believe me? Think about this: If a person truly believed their own hype, they wouldn’t get mad, they would reverently stand by their belief and go about life practicing what they believe. Alternatively, the more signs, flags, and fan fare while sticking up for beliefs that separate us from one another, or rather separate you from them, the more you’re really just trying to prove it to yourself.
I make people mad just by breathing on some days. For a few, I just remind them of what they are not doing right now. But for the ones that get angry at me because I challenge them, like my uncle, my actions represent a complete reversal of the times where authority and especially elders are being questioned. For someone who came up in a time where “children were seen and not heard”, I must look ludicrous to him. It took me a long time to accept that this is who I am. My character is to kick down the doors of closed minds and point out with a neon sign destructive beliefs that keep them and others living in the shallow world that they allow for themselves. I am never ever deliberately out to purposely make people mad by being an inconsiderate jerk. Personally knowing that when I speak it is for the protection of children, to display injustice, to help the progression of a altruistic humanity, to point out that someone is acting like an idiot, or to insist on fair treatment and respect for myself as well as all people, helps me to stand by my actions when others are demanding an apology. Now a days, when I make people mad just by being myself, I actually smile because I know that I just planted a seed of change deep within them. The kind of anger that I provide is a cleansing anger. IF they go forward with it. IF they decide to look past me and deeper within themselves that is. All that I can pray for is that the change they experience is a good one, that I was somehow a catalyst for positive movement forward. Ultimately though, it is up to them.
A new day is dawning and sometimes anger is the greatest wake up call. It has the ability to propel change, and dispel illusions so to create room for growth. One of the most promising signs of the times that I am witnessing is others taking peaceful stands. Wether it is for human rights, or personally with them leaving toxic relationships, people are beginning to utilize anger for positive change the world over. Maybe we are sick and tired of being sick and tired, maybe it truly takes that one last straw to break complacency. Whatever or whomever the catalysis may be, the time is here. We have been conditioned by society to reserve our love for certain people, and to value our possessions above all else. We have had it backwards for most of our lives. We are to love everyone and use possessions. Love can never be stripped of us. It can’t be repossessed, garnished, it can’t break, be stolen, or foreclosed on. It is within us. When you couple love with the willingness to challenge bullshit status quos that separate us from one another, you’re powerful. You, at the point in time in which you are attempting to change the world for the better, who is utilizing love and anger simultaneously, is an alchemist who is standing next to God. Never apologize to someone who is mad because you called out bad, racist, harmful, masogynistic, manipulative, toxic, etc behavior. For it truly isn’t you…it’s them. Which is why they are so angry.